Strength

Strength: power to withstand force or pressure.

I have never been known for this quality.... physical strength or emotional strength. I am not an athlete or really ever have desired to be. (In fact, when we had to run the mile in PE at school, I walked it) I was not really into pushing myself physically. However, emotional strength was probably even worse! I spent many of my days as a child worrying and avoiding fearful things (which was practically everything) My poor mom could not even check the mail without me panicing about her leaving! I watched my younger sisters ride the bus, jump off the high dive, spend the night at friend's houses and many other things that I wasn't willing to do because I was afraid. I even was in advanced reading in 3rd grade but my parents had to take me out because I couldn't handle the pressure. If you know me now, the next part could be hard to believe but I was also really quiet! (haha!)

There was only one thing that I was not afraid to do.......sing. I have always loved to sing with all my heart. My mom started us all off with basic melody and simple songs and once we could hold the melody....she would add in the alto harmony. I can actually remember the night we were driving home and we were singing silent night and she joined in with harmony and I held strong. WOW! "This is really cool," I thought. So over time, we would just keep singing and before we knew it we were singing 3 parts.....we didn't have DVD players in cars then, so when we would go on trips...we would sing. It was FUN! Around 5th grade, I sang my first solo "Let there be peace on Earth" and again, this was something that I wasn't afraid of doing. I started to realize that this was something that scared most people...while I was a little nervous to do it....it was something I could always walk through without it affecting my ability to sing well. This was unheard of for me. This was an area of strength! Something that I never really had to think about but was very natural for me to complete...and complete well.

The next few years were very exciting....I joined the youth choir at the new church we were at and my life was never the same again. I suddenly was surrounded by people who loved singing and loved Jesus too....in fact....they were singing for HIM! Long story short, I accepted Christ and as I sang for Jesus my 14 year old heart began to bloom....I was no longer quiet or shy but growing in my faith and singing. As I understood and accepted that Jesus loved me some of my fears naturally went away....I could spend the night at my friends, babysit....my mom could check the mail! :O) They were not all gone but God has been so kind to me to work each one of those fears out slowly and mercifully. He has revealed them to me one or two at a time and He has worked with me on getting them out. I am sure that there are still some in there but I am trusting that the Lord will continue to be faithful.

WHY all this non-essential information you say? Well...here it goes...

We are given a word each year on the women's retreat to reflect and study over the next year. This year....my word was strength! I almost laughed! You see, I had really been faced with some serious attack over the one area that I feel like is my strength... (insert the past history above here so you can guess what my one strength is...) singing. My honest response to the attack has been "Lord....I really want to quit." And Each time I ask the Lord...the Holy Spirit whispers..."you can't". So I have not. I even was asking the Lord on the retreat what I should do about the attack I feel....then I pulled out the word strength. (the coolest part is that all the words are hidden and you just "randomly"choose a paper without seeing what the word is.) I felt like the Lord had spoken to me.... "I will give you the power to withstand force or pressure" in this situation! WOW!!!! Then I looked back at the verse ( also "randomly" placed) that was sitting on my seat for the general session.....it was 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 "We are human , but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere wordly weapons to knock down the devil's strongholds." I couldn't believe it. God was answering my prayer immediately! I asked and He answered. I prayed and He responded. I was honest with God about my struggle and He met me. It was a moment I hope that I never forget. Here are a couple other verses that I am learning about strength....I pray that they give you strength as you (and me) fight the daily battle ahead!

Neh. 8:10 "Do not greive, for the joy of the Lord is your STRENGTH."

Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my STRENGTH and my shield. My heart trusts in Him and I am helped."

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and STRENGTH, our ever-present help in trouble."

Eph. 6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the STRENGTH of His might."